When Telling Stories to Yourself, Consider Making Them Interesting to Others as Well

Listening to others is part of community building. So is getting others to listen to you.

We communicate by stories, and most people spend considerable time telling stories to themselves. But often the interesting parts are left out of this self-narration, because they are familiar to the individual and are easily assumed. When telling the story to somebody else, however, these parts are usually unknown. The story needs to be redone to be suitable for anyone else, especially a casual acquaintance or a stranger.

We don't have a method or formula to offer but suggest paying attention to making the narratives or dialogs in your own mind suitable for sharing with others, when occasions arise.

And if stories aren't worth sharing with others, why clutter your mind with them?

Note: To judge if what you say interests others, consider the eyelid index. This works best on a small Zoom, etc. call where you and other participants are equal, can see each other's faces, and each takes turns speaking. Or when you are giving a talk, in person or online, and can see the faces of the audience.

How many eyes are open and attentive - and how many are closed, catching up on rest or sleep? The eyelid index is the proportion that are open. Of course the actual proportion depends on whether most of the audience has had enough sleep. But you can compare your current eyelid index with that of other parts of your talk, or that of other speakers, to see how well you are doing. If you put people to sleep, that's a problem. It happens surprisingly often in medical, research, or other technical meetings.